By: William Smythe

Good Job! [insert wealthy program below]

Ew, I’m about to praise Matt Rhule as a Panthers fan. I would love to hear of a more catastrophic NFL coaching career – I know that Ben McAdoo and others exist – but the promise of Rhule’s college prowess still remains. Nebraska went out and got their guy after the last “guy” – the Cornhuskers’ savior in alum Scott Frost – finally imploded after a five-year dumpster fire. 

Rhule has the coaching chops that Frost inevitably lacked, having catalyzed turnarounds at both Baylor and Temple in his last CFB coaching gigs. He’s certainly not a favorite in terms of recency bias, yet Nebraska’s faithful may have guessed correctly here if Rhule can continue his trend of salvaging porous programs. 

Well played, Wisconsin! In no world do I understand why Luke Fickell denied the Notre Dame job last season only to take a worse one this year, yet the Badgers don’t care! Ok – truth be told – the Wisconsin opening is arguably at the level of Notre Dame considering the program’s recent history and “success” with some awful quarterbacking. 

Fickell’s midwest ties to Cincinnati and Ohio State should give him some familiarity with the Big Ten, and we’ll obviously expect his defenses to be on par with that of his 2021 Bearcats. Oh, and somehow sophomore running back Braelon Allen (1,126 yds, 10 TDs in 2022) has pledged his return to Madison amidst a flurry of transfer rumors. Please Fickell, don’t ruin the eighteen-year old phenom for us (his birth year is – I kid you not – 2004). 

All that’s left for the Badgers is a transfer portal quarterback. Arguably no college program would stand to benefit more from a bona-fide gunslinger than the Badgers – who watched junior Graham Mertz throw for ten interceptions and post a measly QBR of 52.5 in 2022. Fickell’s priority should remain in the portal where the likes of Virginia quarterback Brennan Armstrong and Coastal Carolina’s Grayson McCall await their suitors. 

Speaking of the Chanticleers, the Liberty Flames just poached former coach Jamey Chadwell – in an absurdly lateral move – with a “let’s pump the brakes here” salary increase to roughly four million dollars a year – overpay perhaps?

However, I’m a big fan of the hire.

Chadwell has done nothing but win over the past three years – leading his Chanticleers to a 31-6 record – and has groomed arguably the nation’s most sought-after transfer in McCall. The Flames just extinguished Hugh Freeze and brought in another blue-chip coach – one who could bring this program even better fortunes.

Other “exciting” hires:

Louisville native Jeff Brohm (Purdue) returns to the Cardinals.

Deion Sanders has an interesting intro in Boulder, yet is just what this program needed.

Not really getting this one…but could surprise some people. 

I’m sad that we won’t ever get to see David Shaw run out of the tunnel in the Rose Bowl again – wait, wasn’t that six years ago? Shaw finally called it quits after experiencing a sharp downturn in the “Post-Christian McCaffrey” era of Stanford football, and the Cardinal wasted no time in finding their guy – former Sacramento State coach Troy Taylor.

There’s some basis to this hire: Taylor played college ‘ball at Cal Berkeley – odd since Cal and Stanford are bitter rivals – and was the offensive coordinator for Utah in 2017-18. 

His first head coaching gig came at FCS program Sacramento State – where Taylor led his Hornets to a 30-8 clip over four seasons and orchestrated a Rhule-esque turnaround. This is a massive leap to the Pac-12 head coaching scene for the former quarterback, yet I can kind of understand the vision that the Cardinal are running with here. As long as he can navigate Stanford’s rigorous admissions process, there’s potential for a rebirth in Palo Alto. 

Purdue has dealt with the loss of everyone’s favorite Jeff Brohm by reaching for a defensive coordinator from a traditionally inferior Big Ten program. Odd. Before I get ahead of myself, I’ll give Illinois’ DC and new Boilermaker coach Ryan Walters some props: he led the Illini defense to a no. 2 scoring defense and made things incredibly difficult for the boring offenses in their conference – you guessed it, Iowa scored six points against them. 

It’s hard to judge a coordinator’s prowess as a head coach, especially after posting only one compelling season from your respective unit. Purdue just got a huge boon after West Lafayette and New Orleans legend Drew Brees announced his post as an interim assistant – so recruiting may not be so hard after all.

People may not be too jazzed about this hire for Purdue – and I’m not either – but Brees’ presence for the offense – and the recent hire of Air Raid maestro Graham Harrell – will allow Walters to focus on creating a defensive monster in his new home. 

They did what now? 

I’m not even going to spend much time on these ones.

Trent Dilfer to UAB. Talk about a hail-mary, Jeff Saturday hire for the Blazers. Dilfer is better known as the Elite 11 quarterback camp guru than as an FBS head coach, and he last held the reins as a Tennessee high school (far from a full-fledged D1 program). This seems like a classic UAB hire – high-risk, high-reward – and I’m certainly not on board.

Tom Herman to FAU. I just don’t feel as if Herman has any coaching capability left. He completely floundered at Texas after achieving some milestones at Houston and was last an “offensive analyst” for the Bears in 2021. This feels like a Herm Edwards hire to me. Relying on former successes and a big name for a middling program may not always be the best recipe for success. Horns down, Herman. 

Tim Beck to Coastal Carolina. The former NC State offensive coordinator is not even in the ballpark of other OCs who took head coaching gigs at comparable programs – think Tennessee’s Alex Golesh to USF and Ohio State’s Kevin Wilson to Tulsa. As a matter of fact, Coastal just hired a guy who is definitely not as strong of a coordinator as these two – and he landed the better job!

There was nothing tremendously wrong with the Wolfpack’s offense in 2002 – averaging around 25 points a game – yet nothing sexy either. Why take a risk on an offensive coordinator who can’t even shine as an assistant?